Stinkin’ Thinkin’
Our negative thoughts can create anxiety, anger, resentment, jealousy or any other array of emotions. Negative thinking is part of life because life continues to ebb and flow. However, if this way of thinking becomes incessant, it can lead to depression and self-destructive behavior, derailing us from what we want most in life. At minimum, negative thinking zaps our energy, erodes our self-confidence and can put us in a bad mood. Certainly, many would agree that our thoughts come and go so quickly that it’s seems impossible to notice them, but with awareness and an attitude of self-compassion, we can redirect our negative thoughts to more positive ones.
Two Wolves is a Cherokee Indian legend that I love and illustrates the most important battle of our lives – the one between our good and bad thoughts. Here is how the story goes:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
The reason why I love this story is because throughout my life, I learned that thoughts can be our own worst enemy just as easy as they can be our best friend. That is, if we let them. Think about how you may be “feeding” your negative thoughts by allowing them to rule your mind. Next time you have a negative thought, catch it and ask yourself, “What is this thought doing for me?” You will find the answer is that all they are doing is disempowering you.
For me, when I find my thoughts taking over, or times in my life where I am feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, I have to take a moment to ground myself in the present and instead of fighting the thoughts that come in, to simply acknowledge them. Early in my recovery, I struggled with the Serenity prayer especially where it mentions accpectance. Because while I was going through the motions of the changes in my life, there were some things that I wasn’t ready to accept quite yet. It wasn’t until someone told me “Aleah instead of acceptance, take a step back and simply acknowledge. You aren’t able to accept anything before you can acknowledge that it exists.”
We can create greater peace, confidence and a more positive outlook by learning how to manage our thoughts. After all, this battle can be won because we have the power of choice!
Which wolf are you feeding?
