Mental Health Awareness Month Recap:

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” J. K. Rowling 

In honor of closing out Mental Health Awareness month as well as another year of recovery, I have learned over the years, life in general is not linear, it’s a marathon not a sprint. 

Little did I know that May 16, 2012 would become one of the most important days of my life. From bar fights, smashed bottles over my face, losing people I love because of my actions, numerous wrecked cars, toxic relationships, physical and mental abuse, attempted fights with cops, and a handful of nights in jail, my life had become unmanageable.

I walked out of a 48 hour stint in jail which would be my fourth arrest and decided to walk into the solution. Never in a million years did I think I would be waking up with the life that I have today.  The top photos are me in the heart of my addiction, the bottom photos are me living my life today! I didn’t drink to be social, I drank to mask, to numb, to disassociate with what was truly going on internally, while also not wanting to face the chaos my life was externally.

I am not ashamed of my past or the fact that I am in recovery. If you own your story, you have the power to write your ending! I am not what has happened to me. I am however, who I choose to become, and I am damn proud of the person I am today! Wrapped in love and support from friends, colleagues, and family members continues to fill my heart and I wouldn’t be here today without it! My worst days in recovery don’t come close to even my best days when I was in my addiction. I am present today. I am seen today. I am supported today. And I show up for life today! Is it at times still messy, yes. Does it push me and challenge me, absolutely! However it is a life that is full of laughter, love, adventure, beauty, passion, experiences, tears and continual healing.

I thank God every day for fulfilling his purpose for my life by putting me in a position to use my past as an asset to help others alongside their journey, and for that I will forever be grateful! Addiction and mental health of any kind has the potential to take over and unfortunately can take the lives of those around us. If you or someone you know is struggling, I see you. There is hope, and you are not alone! I am open about my journey and know plenty of others who are as well. It is never too late to be who you might’ve been or who you want to be! Know there is another option and we are here to help!